Geoffrey Long
Tip of the Quill: Archives
Steven Tyler is an idiot.

Just one more quick note before I take off today. Steven Tyler, the lead singer of Aerosmith, has won my award for all-time dumbest rock song lyric. The band is responsible for some fun songs (and he himself is responsible for an amazingly hot daughter), but yesterday their song "Crazy" was on the radio. This is not a new song, it's practically a "rock classic" now (gag, choke), but there's this one rhyme...

What can I do?
I feel like the color blue...

"I feel like the color blue"!?!?! You make millions of dollars off of this schlock? Musicians are the bards of the era, the popular poets, and this is the dreck that makes up the weekly top 40? C'mon, man, you can't do any better than that? Put down the whiskey and pick up some Tennyson, for crying out loud.

If I had some more free time, I'd start up a how-to site for poets on how to use GarageBand. Poets, take up your keyboards! If this is the best American music has to offer, there is a veritable trasure chest of opportunity waiting to be seized.

(Actually, that's not a bad idea. Kate, Nick, Derek, Scott Andrew and company, anybody want to help build a Music Theory 101 site for the hopeful?)


I disagree with you. I think it's a fine metaphor. Just not pretentious enough for your standards. There's something wonderful about the simplicity of a song lyric like that.

Music Theory 101? Bring it on...

The one that makes me gnash my teeth is the latest: "Jaded", which contains the line, "And I'm the one that jaded you".

It's not a freakin' verb. It's not even a gerund, it's just wrong. I know I'm a fool, but these things just get under my skin sometimes. That whole Alanis Morisette ironic thing nearly killed me, back in the day.

(bitchbitchbitch, whinewhine)

Yeah, well, at least it doesn't sound like your last name. Imagine a song that used the word "farney" every few lines, and you'll know how I feel when I hear songs that beat the word "jaded" to death.

Could be worse, though. My last name could be "The."



Okay, I'll definitely give you that one.

On a vaguely-related note, I swear most of the guys at school are either named Matt, Andy, Chris, David or Nathan. It's gotten to the point where we've exhausted all possible nicknames and are moving on to the use of last names and in extreme cases, middle names to differentiate the, say, 3 Davids in my 9am class. This sad state of affairs has led to one of my friends (Chris) voluntarily chosing to be called Dick. It's a weird school. Just plain weird.

Here's a fun link for Geoff, in regards to his Garageband masterpiece:

And here's one just for Ken:

Kate's brother Steve was called Bob for a long time - our pastor still calls him "Steve-Bob". And no, his middle name is not Robert, Bob, Bobby or anything remotely like that.

It's both a lyric and a song title, but in terms of Aerosmith I've always liked "falling in love is hard on the knees."

I had a friend Toad back in elementary school. I have no idea where it came from, but everyone called him that, including the teachers and his mother. His given name was Andrew.

There's a guy here called Squid. I have no idea what his real name is. Hell, it's probably Andy or Chris. Our boss in the cage even calls him squid.

Hey guys did you know steven threats his fans as if WE are the celebrity? You should know he is the most caring and understanding person in the world.

Oh, and Jaded IS a good song. Sounds very sexy :)

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